Hello dear praying friends and family! There has been talk of when Hope's surgery would happen for the last couple weeks, and just last week we finalized that. I am finally getting a chance to let you all know the plan, as we definitely covet your prayers for the days and weeks ahead. . .
A couple weeks ago, I received a phone call from the hospital stating that they would set a fall date for surgery. However, with the need to do Hope's surgery as soon as possible, there was hope for having the surgery sooner . . . another young lady scheduled to have the surgery on August 6th was talking about postponing her surgery. We were told to wait and see what happened and they would be in touch. We didn't hear anything until this past Monday.
We had just spoke with many people at church the day before stating that the likelihood we would yet be called for the sooner surgery date was becoming less. There were several pre-surgery things that would need to be arranged and the time was growing to short to make those things happen in enough time. I remember hearing Trevor say, "So if they don't call in the next day or two, we wouldn't be able to take the surgery date regardless." I received the phone call the next morning, stating that August 6th was now open and available to Hope. . . we didn't have to take it, but did we want it?
My heart sunk that morning, to be honest. The stress and burden of making another difficult decision felt very heavy indeed. We had listed all the reasons to have the surgery in August vs September. Most reasons were in favor of sooner than later. . .
August -- The main pull to take this date was to help Hope with her increasing pain, and this one was hard to not make the decision an automatic one. Hope's pain has increased significantly over the past month! Her ribs ache and hurt constantly. Her back will hurt after just a short while of being up in her wheelchair, and it has progressed to even hurting now when up in her reclining chair. Lying flat in bed is the most comfortable position for her and where she tries to spend the majority of her time. However, this limits her interaction with others severely! Hope needs help with multiple position changes over night due to pain now, and cannot sleep through the night anymore. Seeing her pain at this level, definitely has made the surgery more favorable in our eyes, even though we are all still praying, hoping, and believing that God may yet heal her back.
Also part of the concern for Hope's physical health was that the longer we wait to have the surgery, the more her spine will increase in rigidity, making the outcome of her surgery less favorable. This concern has weighed heavy on our hearts since we first agreed to her having the surgery and was at the forefront of our minds when her June 30th surgery was postponed. We had seen her scoliosis worsen, and her spine become more rigid in the short 3 month span from March to June. . . would the 3 month span from June to September not result in another significant worsening of the rigidity of her spine? The increasing pain she has been dealing with made this concern a very real fear! Trusting God that He was sovereign over the postponing of her surgery was the only source of comfort for our hearts as we continued to lift this concern up to Him! Proverbs 3:5-6 was so true. . .
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make straight your paths."
We had to trust Him with all our hearts and not worry about what made sense to us, but rather trust in His sovereign control over every detail of Hope's life and circumstances. He was still working for her good as Romans 8:28 states. . .
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose."
We didn't know or understand His purpose, but we could trust His promises!
Another major reason to have the surgery in August was to avoid her 6 week surgery recovery from being during school. Hope had a great year at school last year surpassing our expectations and even hopes for her. So, we (the school and us) had discussed an exciting education plan for Hope as she enters Grade 7. Missing the first 6 weeks of school, although something that can be overcome and worked around, is still at the least a disappointing start to this wonderful plan for Hope's school year.
Other reasons to prefer August were being able to attend a family wedding for Trevor's cousin, the busy kick-off of all the fall church ministries, including our church launch anniversary, and the annual trip our family makes to Chicago for the church conference there. . . staying with dear friends there is something that our girls look forward to each year!
September -- The biggest reason to prefer this date, quite honestly, is Hope's wishes. We have two weddings coming up in the next two weeks. One of them is for Hope and Gabi's uncle (my brother), and our whole family is in the wedding. . . Trev is officiating, I am the reception MC, and the girls are in the wedding party with Hope as a junior bridesmaid and Gabi as a flower girl. Hope is sooooo excited about being a part of this wedding and missing it would be quite devastating to her.
In addition to these weddings, were other summer plans that were on the calendar and again the girls would be so disappointed to have to cancel. But another concern for Trevor and I was the more limited summer staffing at the hospital. . . would this be a concern for Hope's recovery. We've already been impacted by it in the past, and so we wondered if we should include this as a reason to wait for the fall date.
As you can see from these lists, it really seemed like a "no-brainer" that Hope's physical condition (both her pain and the concern that the surgery outcome would be less favorable with increased time waiting) made the decision and easy one. . . have the surgery as soon as possible! As Trev and I talked that Monday morning and wrestled through this decision, we started on this side. . . God had made a sooner date available, we would take it regardless of the cost and Hope's inevitable disappointment. It broke my heart as we leaned this way. . . my mommy's heart hurt deeply for my little girl and the pain this decision would cause her. As I cried and explained my tears to Trevor, his heart started to soften too. We started leaning the other way towards waiting. . . would four weeks make that big of a difference to be worth causing her more hurt than the surgery already would? After expressing our concern to the hospital of the danger to postponing the surgery after being told it was imminently necessary, we were told that scoliosis doesn't change in weeks, but in months and years, so it was not a big deal to wait until the fall. Of course Hope's past three months didn't set our minds at ease with that, but now we wanted to believe it for the sake of preventing more disappointment for Hope.
This probably feels like a back and forth mess to you, as I share some of what Trev and I discussed that morning. . . that's exactly what it was. It was so evident that our human understanding and ability to make this decision was so limited and honestly, completely inadequate for the task! I cried out to the Lord my disappointment that this date had even become available to us, forcing us to make this difficult decision. . . we were choosing between Hope's physical health and her mental/emotional health. It felt impossible, even though we are not strangers to making tough decisions nor decisions that were not in line with our children's wishes! The fact that Hope is mature and able to understand her situation made her opinions and feelings much more relevant in this decision that dictated her future!
I was stumped and hurting, as my wise and loving husband encouraged us to take a break from talking out all the different angles to the decision, and instead pray about it and seek God for the wisdom that He could only give to make the best and right decision for Hope's future. We prayed James 1:5-6. . .
"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind."
We prayed throughout the rest of the day, and the next morning, we made the decision to wait until September for the surgery. In our own understanding, it still did not feel like an easy decision, but we had placed our trust in the Lord, we had sought Him for His wisdom, and we were both on the same page as God mercifully and graciously led our hearts to be in line with His will and plan for Hope's life. So last Tuesday, I called the hospital back and let them know our decision to wait for surgery until September. The receptionist said that was no problem and almost seemed please with our decision, as she said it was completely up to us and we did not have to take the earlier date. I felt compelled to reiterate to her how hard this decision was for us. I shared how we would have liked to hear what the surgeon felt was best, as we felt we were choosing between what was best for her physically vs mentally/emotionally. And here is where God's amazing grace and faithfulness, yet again, brought us to complete peace in another difficult decision. . .
. . . the receptionist, hearing my words and the pain in my voice as I shared our struggle in making the decision, graciously told us this. . .
"Oh I know this is a tough decision. But I was actually talking to the doctor earlier this morning and he was asking where things were at with the date for Hope's surgery. I told him that I was waiting to hear back from you guys on which date you would choose for surgery. He told me that he hoped you would choose the September date because he would be away on vacation immediately following the August 6th date for the rest of the month, but he would be here for all of September and felt that would be better and safer for Hope with having such a complicated major surgery. So you made the decision he was hoping you would make!"
Isn't God good! Isn't He so faithful to provide wisdom just as James 1:5-6 promises, and straight paths just as Proverbs 3:5-6 instructs, and to work for our good just as Romans 8:28 reminds us! And the grace He gave us with the affirming response from the receptionist felt like it was straight from the Lord, reminding us now to rest in our decision and practice James 1:6. . . we will not doubt Your leading, Your wisdom, Your faithfulness to us, oh Lord!
So after a very long story. . . by now, I'm sure everyone would expect nothing less from windy old me!. . . we are excited to share with you that the new date that God has given us for Hope's back surgery will be September 8th!
So here are are some prayer requests that we would be so grateful to have you lift up on Hope's behalf, dear ones. . .
1. Please continue to join Hope and us as we continue to ask God for His glory to be revealed through His power to miraculously heal Hope's back! Hope still has great hope that this could yet be God's plan for her!
2. Please pray for Trevor and I as we continue to spend hours researching the various alternative options for treatment that people have lovingly sent to us! It can be another source of great stress trying to determine what is worth the time and money and what would be of benefit with no potential for harm. And with Hope's very unique circumstances/causes and severity of her condition, it makes research difficult as there is usually no information on someone in a similar condition as Hope being treated successfully. It also increases the risks of potential harm. And yet, we don't want to leave a "stone unturned" so to speak, as we diligently seek the Lord in researching each option. I'm sorry that I have yet to be able to respond to everyone individually, but thank you to each of you who has lovingly taken time to send us your suggestions and recommendations for things that may help Hope. One request to further help us, would be if you were able to do the research and find cases like Hope who have been successfully treated. That would be fantastic and a huge help to us with our limited time able to spend on each option. Thank you dear ones. . . we are so blessed by your love and willingness to share your hopes of options that could yet help Hope before surgery!
3. Please pray for Hope's upcoming surgery date, all the pre-surgery necessities that will be repeated (such as blood work, which is very hard on her), and her recovery. Also please pray for wisdom for the doctors/surgeons and other staff that will be involved with her treatment and care. We want to be salt and light to all those that cross our path,
on a daily basis, whether at home or at the hospital.
4. Please pray for Hope's heart. . . that she will continually trust in the Lord and His way, whether or not she receives exactly what she's asking for or not. Please pray that she will trust that His ways are better than our ways, as Isaiah 55:8-9 reminds us. Please pray that God will continue to grow her in Christ-likeness and give her a strong voice for Him.
5. Please pray for Gabi as this will be happening now while she is in school, and will create a lot of chaos and lack of routine as she begins her school year. Please pray that she will continue to be flexible and able to be diligent in spite of these obstacles. Also please pray that she would continue to grow in Christ-likeness and compassion for how to love and help her sister.
6. Please pray for wisdom for Trevor and I, as we parent our girlies through this, and for our own hearts to be fueled by time with the Lord and taking refuge in Him.
7. Please pray that these last few weeks of summer will be filled with joy and special memories for our family. Please pray for strength for Hope to endure the increased pain that she is experiencing, with trust in the Lord, and guarding her heart against complaining/whining. Please pray for us to be creative and sensitive as to how to best help Hope through this next few weeks of pain.
So rather than Hope having surgery today, I am instead sharing with you how the story God is writing for her life continues to unfold! Thank you so very much, dear ones, for your continued love and prayer support for our precious Hope, and our family! We are so blessed by the many notes of continued support and prayer, and the many expressions of love that keep us humbled and so very grateful for God's goodness and care!
You are so very loved!!!
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